Skip to main content

Imposter Syndrome

 A feeling of inadequacy, when in fact, you are enough. That is how I would describe Imposter Syndrome. 

Someone with IP might attribute their success to "being at the right place at the right time", luck, chance, or fortune. They rarely believe they are competent. They strive for perfection. 

Accompanying symptoms might include anxiety, self-doubt, shame, and fear. 

When I scored a 73 on the IP Quiz, I was shocked. Not because it was high, but because it wasn't higher. In a way, I almost think I've improved in my feelings of inadequacy, and I know I still have a long ways to go.

When I got into OT school, I will be the first to admit the feelings of worry and stress were at the forefront of my mind. I worried about the caseload, completing anatomy, and simply being competent enough to finish all of the didactic coursework. As school progressed, I quickly let these fears manifest. I started to become extremely self-conscious and rarely felt like I matched up to the rest of my peers. For a while, I felt like I was good at "faking it" or displaying that I was ok, when inside, I was in full panic. The longer I let these feelings sit, the more I began to go into conversations or classes with peers believing they thought those same things about me too. As you can imagine, this became an unhealthy cycle, one that I had to learn to become aware of in order to begin to absorb the confidence I so desperately needed in myself. For me, the "intervention" I turned towards was simply grace. I needed to give grace to not only myself, but the people around me who I so quickly believed to be an enemy because of how high I put them above myself. In addition, I truly had to remind myself the beauty of each individuals unique gifts, passions, and strengths, and not compare them to my own. 

I'm unsure if there really is a "cure" for IP, but what I do know is that "comparison is the biggest thief of joy" and I never want to lose my joy. 

As we enter this period of finals, our White Coat Ceremony, and Level II Fieldwork's, I do have a sense of pride knowing that I'm here because of the work I've done and the people who have believed, invested, and encouraged me all along the way. Here's to embracing the process of believing in myself!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Neuro Note 1: Guillain Barre Syndrome

One word I can use to summarize the TEDx Talk (TEDxDalhousieU) with Sanford Hare is: GRATITUDE.  Sanford was simply a teenager, entering into his last year of high school when he suddenly woke up one night with a tingling sensation in both his feet and hands. This tingling continued and escalated into severe pain and weakness to the point he couldn’t even lift his hands over his head. Immediately, his parents rushed him to the ER where diagnostic imaging tests such as CT Scans, X-Rays, and a Spinal Tap were used to reveal he had Guillain Barre Syndrome.  Guillain Barre Syndrome is a rare, autoimmune disorder in which the immune system attacks the Peripheral Nervous System, which is responsible for controlling movement and sensation. I was eager to learn more about some of the specifics of this syndrome, so I visited the CDC’s website and examined the risk factors associated with GBS. I learned that only 1 in 100,000 individuals have GBS and that it is more prevalent in men...
Post a Comment
Read more

Neurobiology Blog Post #1

During the last SuperBowl, Budweiser put out a commercial about “typical Americans” that stuck out to me for a couple of reasons. To begin, the commercial highlights people who serve our country through the military and rescue squads, as well as sports teams that have won major titles for our country. My favorite aspect of the commercial is when advocating and petitioning is shown due to the fact that I understand the passion that goes along with fighting for something you believe in, as well as the privilege it is to live in a country that allows us to do so. For starters, I always enjoy a commercial that provokes some kind of emotion. In the case of this commercial, the feeling was immense pride and love for the country we live in. The ad also showcased the many wonderful and positive things happening in our country, rather than focusing on the negative areas and hardships. I think it’s always a sweet reminder to remind of ourselves of all the good that happens daily. The Limbic...
Post a Comment
Read more